Friday, March 19, 2010

Seeing into the Future

Dear Abby,

Last week we took you to get your 15 month check up. The doctor said you were perfect. She actually said you were skinny too! I'm going to repeat that for you here. She said you were skinny. She said you have always been on the "thin side "ever since you were born so it's nothing to worry about. It's just who you are and it looks great on you.

I'm bringing this to your attention now because you are inevitably going to, at some point in your future, dislike your body. You are my daughter and the DNA won't allow for you to love yourself indefinitely. When that time comes, I'm going to crank up an old PC (like an ancient phonograph) and ask you to read this entry.

I know I'm your mom and I am biased but you are one tiny beautiful little person. There isn't one inch of you that isn't the peachiest of porcelain known to man and when you get a scratch or a bruise it looks like graffiti on a marble statue. Your little body is strong, healthy, and succulent. I've almost eaten you two thousand times. You have a lot of girly mannerisms already that make your Daddy completely weak in the knees. He works hard and doesn't always have a smile on his face around here but when you walk over to him with your head tilted to the side like you do, he is nothing but smiling eyes and happy teeth. Job well done, sister.

And your brother thinks you are the sun and stars too. Unfortunately, he will hurt your feelings from time to time. I'm sorry for this. For now and in the future. But it's natural. You should see him here. He loves you so much he practically pops your head off in a bear hug and the next minute is shoving you over because you want to play with his Batman motorcycle. But never question his devotion to you. Right now, this three year old boy will not walk one foot away from you when we are outside. He is ever vigilant and ever watchful. He is your own personal pit bull that will not leave you alone in this world. You can rely on him, no matter what happens. Trust me here.

You guys have even created your own secret language, both in body and "words." The doctor watched you two interact in the office and brought your secret language to my attention. It's a series of hugs, smiles, grunts and short "words" that I always mistook as simple sibling play. You are doing more than that. You two are bonding yourselves together for life. You get each other and that is priceless. Trust me again here. This will be crucial in years to come. Because you see, when you get older he will date and you will date (each others' friends - surprise!), probably marry (hopefully someone who values both families), and become separate. It's going to break my heart when it happens but please don't give up on each other. Each of you will fall in love and evolve into new family roles - whether that is husband or wife or mother or father. This is just another step toward building a larger family, not a step away from the one you knew (although that's exactly what it's going to feel like at first). You will miss him. But please trust and know that you are still important in each others' lives because you will be. There is no replacing a sibling.

And lastly me. Please know that I'm going to revel in you. You are already 200% more ladylike than I ever could wish to be and it's like watching a garden bloom. Until you are tired. Then you are just like me and bump into your own shadow. And your sweet little "ippy" face. Your darling little face looks nothing like mine and for that I am grateful. I wake each morning to find you in your crib and stare for a minute or two just to see your exquisite features melt into that coy smile only you can do. You will never have a "natural" double chin because yours is so prominent. You will have big eyes like your Daddy and your brother, not mine that are all but invisible without makeup. Believe me, it will be a blessing to take after your father's side because they have incredible high cheekbones and great hair. And luckily for you, both sides of your family tree bring tenacity, warmth, creativity, and heart. I hope you look in the mirror when you are older and see all that we see in you, both inside and out. I will always remind you, like a broken record, that you are perfect. Even the doctor said so.


pajama mom said...

lovely post. :)

One Sided Momma said...

thanks pj. sometimes the crying wonder is inspiriational. other times, she cries.

Cristie Ritz King said...

Abby-as lovely as you are, your mother is also beautiful in a way that is reserved for a rare few humans. Her skin is porcelain. She manages to somehow be thin and shapely-a trait that, if I didn't love her so much I would hate her for. She has a sense of style that people aspire to. She can put together a consignment outfit that looks right off a runway. Her smile is wide enough to brighten a room and her laugh can mend broken hearts. She has a kindness and compassion that is unparalleled. My only wish is she would share the kindness with herself. As she complains about her looks, she has been known to stop people-men and women in their tracks with her beauty. Just ask your dad. You are a lucky little girl MIss Abby, because I can tell you-to be loved by your mother is a rare gift. Cherish it-even if sometimes she makes you crazy.