Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Duke

My husband is such a dude. By that I mean if he were one speck more male we'd hear the Gunsmoke theme song playing in the background wherever he went. He's old school male; strap on a rifle, kiss the Little Lady on the forehead, and ride off into the sunset for outlaws kind of male. I've never seen a John Wayne movie but I'd bet I'd see more than a few similarities.

What I love most is my husband's one liners. He can usually bring the house down, involuntarily mind you, with his one liners. Sometimes they are harsh. He's a dude AND a Marine. Sometimes they are charming. And sometimes they are so funny I chortle and snort because one single belly laugh doesn't cut it.

Here are some recent comments of his that I can remember:

At home*
Me: Honey, can you come in here so I can show you where things (the children's toys) go before it becomes annoying?
Him: (- long - very pregnant and thoughtful pause -)
I think it's too late.

A few fellow Marines are kibitzing at lunch.*
One senior Marine tells the name he and his wife picked out for their soon to be born baby girl.
My (junior) husband: "Sir, isn't that a porn star?"
(Needless to say, nobody kept their composure. Also? That baby with that name was born two days later. We didn't get an announcement.)

At home again*
Me: Hey Babe, you like my haircut?
Him: Not so much the front. (bangs) Or the back. (the rest of it)

You have to love a man who speaks him mind, even if that mind forgets to filter on occasion. Or because it forgets to filter on occasion.


Cristie Ritz King said...

Hilarious. "not so much the front, or the back." At least he notices and when you get a compliment you can be damn sure it's the truth!!

pajama mom said...

mm has no filter either.

One Sided Momma said...

crk - i think i grew an extra epidurmal layer on the alter w/him in '02. and you're right about the compliments; he's not a smoke blower and i know to believe them when they are bestowed.

pj - doesn't it make for some funniest moments? some great foot in mouth moments too but that's part of the charm.