Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I flipped a guy off yesterday in an act of retaliation for him calling me a B. I can be a B, sure Mr. Pedestrian with the right of way, but you haven't seen anything yet. Come hang out for a few days and I'll give you something to be really upset about. My vehicle (accidentally) inching two centimeters toward your crosswalk will be a distant memory as I ask and then demand you to eat real food and not just crackers, clean up after yourself because I have already cleaned a bajillion messes, get your socks off the kitchen table, stop chasing the dog with your samurai sword, stop pushing your sister over because you think it's funny, stop talking in that voice that makes me want to chase you with a sword, and the list goes on. Oh yes, you got away unscathed and you don't even know it. The B powers I possess would likely leave you speechless so next time, please don't rob me of the many masterful ways I can show off my B-ness to you and your eloquent bravery for cursing out a mom with her two young children in a minivan. At least my bird came with a smile.