Returnsies

Not sure why this is but I have the returnsies lately: Buy something. Bring it home. It doesn't fit, work, or match. Bring it back to the store the next day. The suburban Hokey Pokey. It's so bad that the woman in Customer Service no longer asks if something is wrong with item in question. She simply lowers her eyes when we pull up to the counter and turns her hand up for the receipt. She automatically puts amount back on the credit card and mumbles a thank you to let us know we are officially dismissed (and officially the most annoying tripod of returners she's had to deal with since probably 8 am.)

It's not like I'm making snap decisions inside the store. Quite the opposite, really. With the level of multi-tasking that must go on with a 10 month old in a stroller and a 3 year old making pirate costumes out of women's apparel there are tens of things going on any given moment. This could throw some people, certainly, but I am so awful at multi-tasking in public that it just forces me to stop what I'm doing, focus, find my shopping chi, and spend more time internally contemplating item in question. Even after zenning on it for a whole 47 seconds and finding it the perfect purchase it is inevitably going to find itself back at the store face down in a red cart to be shelved when someone finishes their lunch (text) break.



















The most recent purchase to be returned soon is this. Keep in mind I was looking for an organizational system that will help store toys in an accessible-for-tiny-hands sort of way while still keeping fun stuff in view. The toy trunk is not an option as it is pretty much a place where toys go to die around here or a huge rattan landfill that is dumped upside down so it can breathe every few months. The cubby system rocks in my mind also because little helpers can lessen parental insanity by helping us put things away when it's time to clean up (it is always time to clean up). I also picture the cubby system working well because OMG look how adorable they are in the Land of Nod catalog! What isn't? I want to crawl right through those pages and frolic around in those playrooms until the end of time. Or until Social Services shows up. Whichever happens first. Mox Nix.

Notice how in my purchase above the cubbies are 4 inches by 5 inches. They are clearly made for bottles of wine. And Smurfs. Obviously not designed to house the massive amounts of bulk we have here like Optimus Prime or remote Tyrranosaurus Rexes. 4 by 5 inches and I believed this was the solution to all my can't-see-the-carpet-is-it-even-dirty? nightmares. My finger is almost 4 inches and yet somehow, in my Target induced haze, I joyfully plunked this wooden contraption into our cart wholeheartily believing it would bring world peace and heal souls. Until I got home.

Didn't even open the box because, well, the extra oxygen and happy latte crack wore off the minute I turned the key to the front door (no offense loving family or warm cozy house that we live in) and it all became painfully clear that another very poor shopping decision had been made.

Perhaps it's all a ploy to retain the need to go back to the store to return the item in question? Gah, that's even more pathetic to consider so let's go with the notion I'm completely incapable of making sound choices when my brain is more concerned with shushing a red-faced Graco prisoner while also reigning in a clompy free range zig-zagging boychild. Who knows, maybe we'll keep the wine cubbies. I have a few stray strands of uncooked spaghetti that I don't know what to do with or hey, I know! I'll use it for a place to finally store that pack of gum I just can't squeeze into my purse. Who am I kidding. Customer Service Girl, we're baaack.