Atonement

Don't you hate it when you leave the jar of peanut butter in the sink (husband - not me believe it or not) or tuck the house phone in between the coffee filters and Gerber snacks? It's always a struggle to keep things where they need to be so you can find them later. And double whammy in this house because Lord knows I'm the farthest thing from a neat freak as ever there was. Definitely a neat freak wannabe but my DNA gets in the way and makes messes out of thin air because my great great grandmother probably was a liberal arts major too.

How I can keep track of my car keys, cell phone, and purse is nothing short of a miracle. Actually it's a routinized method I taught myself to use (my special ed training comes in handy) when I almost had to hail a cab to the pediatrician's office a couple of years ago. A cab instead of driving because one would need to locate their keys to drive themselves anywhere. After a twenty minute panic attack that included stripping the bedsheets and moving mattresses in hopes of finding a sliver of silvery keyness I finally found them. In the freezer. The freezer?

In light of my executive functioning handicap I bought a little purse that holds only my car keys, cell phone, and lip gloss. This little purse now hangs on our key rack in our kitchen (oh and here's a map of our entire house, robber blog stalker person. please don't wake us while you're taking everything we own. you're welcome) so I know where it is at all times.

Yesterday I went to grab my cell phone from my little purse and found an empty spot instead. Hmmm. Diaper bag? Nope. Coat pocket? Good suggestion but nope again. Okay, this could go on all day, let's call it from the house phone.

Riiiing. Riiiiing. Bzzzzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzz, said my cell phone from somewhere that sounded like the upstairs, downstairs, garage, and washing machine all at the same time. I kid you not. I called my cell at least seven times running around my house like a coyote with its snout in the air first right, then left, upwind, then downwind. Hard as I tried, I could not discern its exact location. Where are you cell phone?! Hellooooo????



Then I put it all together.














Yep. In there. Way down in there.













Next to that upside down McCafe cup.














In with the hot cakes and sausage debris. Can you see it? No? I'm sorry, more specifically it's due south of the York peppermint patty wrapper.


I think someone needs to stop wasting time looking for lost cell phones and more time in the produce section of her supermarket. Damn latte. Sang like a canary.