Monday, April 30, 2012

Botox By Abby

When I was eight or so I tried to do a cherry picker on a swingset by myself and broke my arm.

I wore a cast forever.

One night in my sleep I accidentally hit my mom in the face with my cast.

My poor mom suddenly burst into adult words and flew from the bed like her nightgown was spontaneously honey-coated with bees.

Guess what, Mom?  Karma has visited your daughter.  And her name is thy Abigail.

Let me preface by saying Abby does not have a real handle on her gross motor skills yet.

She doesn't quite know where she ends and other people begin.  It's sweet but so very unruly and usually ends up in things dribbled all over the house (yes, I'm still working on the Glitter post).  And every single day there are tiny fists in my eye because she is an enthusiastic hugger.

We're kind of hoping she needs glasses, actually.

So after receiving an Abby skull to my chin during dinner (don't ask) and then a subsequent Abby fist to my left eye after brushing teeth (I'm not even sure) I felt like I earned a nice relaxing evening.  We made it through the hard part with minor bruising and abrasion.

Little did I know, the best was yet to come.

Princess Battleship and I were reading a story right before bed and just as I was mouthing the very last word of the very last story she walloped my face with her head.

Once again, I was Abigailed.  Only this time it hurt.

I cursed, she ran crying to her dad.  Apparently my lip hurt her skull.

I had an utter mommy tantrum of my own and ran to a scalding hot shower, crying about how I won't take anymore abuse from anyone in this house anymore, not even the dogs! (Take that you dogs you who do nothing but love, honor, and cherish while protecting me to the core of my being.  OH THE ABUSE!)

I need therapy.

Or a very long session in Nepal with a monk who sees through my fat lip and bitter root attitude.

Oh yes, I was mad enough to snap a shot for the cops when Abby's 16 and threatening me with taking the keys to my car.  Sure, I'll have to age the picture a little but then again, maybe not.  I'm kind of liking the way Botox looks.

Black and white to save you from the extreme close-up.

 Color brings the lip to life though so Hello nostrils!

I wonder if I could get her to zero in on my other side tomorrow?

Bright side:  Some NeNe earrings and we are ready to attend a fundraising event!

So there you have it.  My night brought to me by that b*tch, Karma.

Sorry, Mom.  I'm sorry for not having great gross motor skills years ago and believe me, now I know how much all those years of Dizzy Lizzy hurt.

I hope I was worth it.

Maybe I need glasses?


JRitz said...

Oh no! Hope you are feeling better and the swelling is under control. But of course there is no better cure than a pair of NeNe earings:)

Anonymous said...

When you go next for "Abbytox," ask for the "worm lip" look. You were sound asleep when you creamed me. lol <3 <3

OSMA said...

JRitz, all healed up now. Kind of miss it.

Anony - You deserve kudos for that and my hair nests each morning from "rocking" myself to sleep. xoxox

Tobi Fistcher said...

Glasses would do good because you have a long beautiful face, Osma. I'm glad of how wonderful your Botox came out. You look young for a mom. I wish you could post a before and after picture of you so your visitors could give deeper insights about the transformation. You look so adorable in your last picture. :P

Chieko Brink said...

Your earrings look good on you, Osma. Simple studs and chandelier style earrings are very perfect for a woman that has an oblong shaped face. Tobi's right, you really look young for a mom. :P

Terry Bayer said...

I bet your enjoying the results Osma! You look so young and fresh. Botox is actually a good idea to majority of the people who opt to have it, and I can say you are lucky to be one of them. It made you look 5 years younger!

Judith Arends said...

The last photo was the best! :D It really shows that you’re greatly satisfied with the outcome of your Botox treatment. Nice! I’m already in my late thirties. Soon, aging will be visible on my skin. I’m really considering getting treated with Botox by that time. This will make me look younger and feel more beautiful. ;)