How to Make a Green Tube Shirt

Step One:
Test dye a small portion of your material.




















Step Two:
Squish dye between your fingers so Mother cannot remove easily even with an entire bottle of Johnson's Baby Soap. Yeah, go ahead and add some yellow.




















Step Three:
Apply color generously to bulk of material.




















Step Four:
Take a moment to smile pretty for your fans, after you remove your pants.




















Step Five:
Pretend you are an Etch-a-Sketch





















Step Six:
Show off your wares to the most discerning critic in town (also pantless, those eccentric types).



















Step Seven:
Do your best Lily Tomlin impersonation.




















Step Eight:
Try a distracting chicken dance.




















Step Nine:
Drop it low and get your green shirt groove on.














Step Ten:
Bathe in the beauty of your inner O'Keefe and patent the half-arm, pointer finger look. It's sassy, avant-guard and oh so green.