Dear Honey

There's so much my husband and I forget to say over Skype. Probably because it's either 11pm his time or past my pumpkin hour here when we see the orange alert pop-up on the screen. Because of this, he is now an official One-Sided reader so he can catch up on what's going on at the homestead. That in mind, figured I'd surprise him with a running list of things I will continue to forget unless I write them down. Here. On the mommy blog.

Surprise!


Dear Honey,

1. Abby has not forgotten you. I know you think she has. In fact, this evening she asked where you were, then told me "Daddy not here, Daddy miss Abbies. Daddy miss hold Abbies," at least five times. She means the reverse on the latter part but it doesn't matter because I'm guessing both are accurate.
   
2. Grayson desperately wants to please, even more than before you left. His little face dissolves into hurt and confusion if (yes, when ) I take a "tone" with him. I'm trying so hard to be the moon and the stars and the red balloon (but am so often the quiet old lady who is whispering hush.)
   
3. I am holding myself together nicely. The scotch tape is barely visible.
   
4. I am also holding myself to a higher standard with you gone. You know, not letting cranky win ever since I'm all they have for their day-to-day and how much would that suck for them if they were faced with that woman all the live long. Also? I want to win something really nice at the end of this. Like a lovely little metal purple heart number. I hear they go great with a pair of jeans and boots.
   
5. Snapper is living in our tupperware. Bleaching his tank just never makes my Top 10 list.
6. Our landlord invited us over for Thanksgiving. We were right, nicest guy ever.
   
7. I have balanced our checkbook only once since you left...a month ago.
   
8. I bought a new purse today. Smaller. I know, I'm purse bi-polar. Bottomless pit bag, then a zipper with vacancy only for lip balm. But this one's red with blue trim. To die.
9. Sadie no longer asks for dinner. It's so depressing. She just knows it's never going to happen so goes over to the cookie bin instead to wait for one of those to drop from the sky.
   
10. Holy Crap is this whole deal a complete exercise in Lamaze. Don't forget to breathe. Whistle if you have to. Sing loudly and often-ly but never ever say no to the epidural (white wine) when it's on the table.
11. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning. Then I pour more Hazelnut creamer in my coffee.
    
12. Abby let herself go to sleep tonight without clutching four plastic Strawberry Shortcakes and screaming, "Abby need Yellow Girwl! Abby need Shawtcake. Dey not hewe!!" even though they are clearly in her little tight fists.
13. Do we own a stapler?
    
14. I played a Christmas CD and bawled my eyes out while slicing lettuce and tomatoes (we had seven layer dip tonight for dinner and Grayson almost threw up) because there was a verse about how family is not an heirloom and I don't really know what that means other than you are there and we are here and our family has a big wide gaping hole in it so it made me feel sad while chopping vegetables. I came *this close* to losing a thumb.
    
15. I'm so thankful for you. Happy Early Thanksgiving, Honey. You're gonna miss all the HoneyBaked ham.

** addendum since 15 min. ago. Just balanced checkbook. We're good.