Leave a Message After the Beep

Hi. Sorry I missed your call but I'm away for the weekend having a much overdue girly weekend with this fabulous lady over here. We have a lot to catch up on. I've never met two of her children. She will look at pictures of mine as they are staying home with the man who promised to love, honor and cherish me even after I leave him to fend for himself and those precious beams of hellfire for an entire weekend for the first time ever in the history of bearing his children. Can you tell I'm not at all nervous about this prospect? Dear God, please let them all live and remember to brush their teeth in that order. Or I'm fine with just letting them live and I'll take them to the dentist on Monday. Thank you. Hail Mary.)

Anyway, back to the Girly Weekend- Ah yes, we're going to drink a lot (of hot chocolate), eat a lot (of lettuce wrapped stuff), and listen to lots of music (this one's true) for two days straight and probably one really late night. I am very much looking forward to getting away for a couple of days. Even the drive alone is sounding more and more delicious by the minute. Although I'm happy to spend time away for a bit, I'm already missing my family. Life is funny that way. You go a little hysterical living it and you miss it even before you walk out the door. At least they'll have plenty of snow to keep themselves busy (oh Dear God, snow! Please help him remember where the gloves, hats, and warm jackets are. Fleeces won't cut it. And lastly, please jack the heat back up when he turns it down to frigid. Thank you. Hail Mary.)

* Editor's note: For the record, Abby's donning an outfit picked out by her Daddy in the picture above.

Me: (after seeing the Striped Wonder with my own eyes)
Honey. Really?

Him: What? Is it bad? Stripes go with stripes, right?

Me: Yes they do.

If you're in prison.

Him: You're not funny.

Me: Abby's outfit is. That should be enough.