Delicious Surprise

I can still remember the day I found out that Abby was going to be an Abby and not a Cole or a Noah or a Ryan. My dear friend, Marni (pictured left with Abbyworm) went with me to that ultrasound (Andy didn't want to find out the gender -read about that here) and we were all giggly like two girls on our way to Neimen Marcus with someone else's wallet. We stared at each other in the waiting room with that sisterly face that says, "This is a big deal. Today. This. All big." Then my name was called. It was time. We made jokes with each other and laughed like cats. We then tried to absorb the technician into our Girl Club but she wasn't into us. We were cheerleaders and she was black lipstick and ceramics class. She was officious and Marni and I smelled blood. We had to make her laugh. We made tasteless jokes. Nothing. Not even a giggle. We made even filthy jokes or as bad as we could come up with on a day like the day you find out the most important bit of news you'll ever want to know and were met with that same flat expression. This Ice Queen would not crack!

Then it happened. She asked if we wanted to know the sex.
"YES!" The two mommies said. C'mon the entire scene was funny but she continued to temper us with her whispery voice and big words. Then the humorless tech waved her magic goth-wand over a certain part of my nonexistent oblique area and there they were!

"Look, Marn, do you see the testicles!" I announced. Because I'm a doctor. And because I was SO sure this was another boy baby. Would have bought an entire wardrobe of dinosaurs and dump trucks sure it was another boy baby.

"Those aren't testicles, ma'am." Says the technician. Who is finally smiling a winning grin like she was the wolf and we were the canaries. Two delicious air-headed brunette canaries.

Needless to say, I spent the next several seconds spinning into a vortex of disbelief. I did not even look at Marni who was already crying. I could hear her sweet muffled tears from my distant land of make-believe. Marni who had been saying I was going to have a girl the day we announced we were expecting. Marni who always gets things right. Seriously, somehow this girl is never wrong about these types of things so I should have known too. I should have believed her. But I did not.

"Those are her girl parts," says the technician who was reveling in her glorious trump card.

"Her? A girl?" I ask from a universe away. Still not sure I'll be able to stand up without falling right back down like a gigantic piece of soap in a very small shower.

"A girl." This time it was Marni's voice. I caught her eyes and locked into her expression. I fell to earth with her warm tears and beautiful told-you-so eyebrows.

"Are you sure?" I asked to two people who were clearly amused at my reaction and absolutely positive about what they saw.

"Funny," says the tech, "people never ask me if I'm sure when I point out a hand or a foot but when it's a girl or boy part they always ask me to check again."

And there we were. All four girls in a room with nothing left to say.













Abigail Kate. You are my delicious surprise and you continue to delight me with your sweet self every single day. You are my Smiley Rousse. You are my Boom Boom Bow. You are my Sassyass and every moment I spend soaking you in or making you smile is a memory that I store in a place that is locked. I won't forget this baby girl you. I am holding on to your sweetness like it might vanish in your crib one night. Every time I lay you down for your nap I see less of the tiny mattress and more of your delectable doughy arms and legs. You are stretching into a new little person by the second. A little person who is still so much baby and yet so much little girl with a carefree personality, engaging even and individual desires all your own. I am looking forward to knowing you tomorrow, don't get me wrong. It's just that I cannot let go of you today.

Tonight as I lay you down for the third time (it's not your fault, your foot was stuck) I kissed that little puckery peony pink mouth of yours, risking waking you up. You didn't wake up. Instead you sighed that comfortable baby exhale and snuggled further into the corner, next to your blue bird and pink giraffe. I stared at you for a few minutes to memorize the shape you made in your bed. A lower case "k." All rosy and hair damp from when I rocked with your little head on my shoulder. How hard it was to leave you and know that already tonight, I have one less night to remember you this way.

My delicious surprise, Abby Kate. There's nothing in the world that is more divine than you. Now or tomorrow or thirty years from here. Go get 'em baby.
And tell 'em Mommy sent you.