Friday, March 30, 2012
It's All About the Girl
You may have noticed the last couple of posts have been centered around Grayson. You may have not, I'm not sure I did. At least not right away.
Truth is Abby and I are at an impasse.
I know. She's three. What kind of impasse are we talking here.
It's a Girl Impasse, I'm afraid.
I think the complicated relationship between mother and daughter starts at birth. Or at least ours did.
I was quite sick when I was expecting Grayson but was absolutely going to die from poison coursing through every ounce of my body with Abby. The hormones made me throw up so much I gave up trying to get leave the bathroom but instead camped out with my toilet while Grayson (not yet 2) ate applesauce from the jar. With probably his fingers.
Then we cut out the middle man and finally got a PICC line put into my arm so I could both eat and drink through a tube so it could stop coming back up my throat. It's not morning sickness at that point. It's hyperemesis and it's the reason we will never hear the pitter patter of more baby feet around here.
When she was born, we had about one hour of blissful sleep and then the screaming started.
This child screamed when she was awake, before she ate, after she ate, and any time in between. Getting her to sleep was an act of God.
The night she screamed for seven hours straight was the same night we decided she was suffering some horrible ailment and only qualified doctors at the ER could help.
All the nurses whispered, "colic," as we rushed through the door. They were right. Abby was perfectly healthy other than not being at all down with existing outside the womb.
I had a nervous breakdown. Andy probably did too, I don't know. I'm not sure we knew the other one was even in the house at that point. All we could hear was the screaming.
Even though we had the "diagnosis" we still didn't have the answer. Abby still hated oxygen and other earthly realms. She was fighting mad and still screaming.
Finally, my friend Monica sent me the blessing of Dr. Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block. His 5 steps to soothe a baby were the absolute only thing on this hemisphere that got Abby to stop screaming. If you know anyone who knows anyone who might need this book, buy it for them. It saved my life and probably Abby's too.
Everybody in our family and our extended family had exhausted arms and worn out eardrums until we all were proficient in swaddling, shooshing, bouncing, and holding sideways. I know, it sounds insane but I swear on my life it works. In fact, it was the ONLY thing to work.
Needless to say it was a rough start.
We made it through though and somehow she turned two.
Now she's three and she is testing me to the limits again. She is loud. All the time. She is whiny. Constantly. She is a dichotomy of dirt and glitter, co-dependence and oppositional defiance, of ballet and a mosh pit. She is Yin and Yang all wrapped in one little amazing body.
Abby is something to behold and always a delicious surprise. I just wish I had Cliff Notes to help me out because I am utterly spent from being 12 steps behind her.