Monday, March 5, 2012

You Have Mail

The thought occurred to me that I might give the impression of always loving my role as a stay-at-home mom. No? Not in the slightest? Why are you laughing?

Okay so humor me.

Just in the million to one chance you think I am always snapping photos of my children while getting my hair cut too short whilst also admiring the serenity and slime of my kitchen sink here's a peek into the real me. The me who most likely needs to apply to some part time job that requires intellect beyond Go Fish and ninja warrior overlords.

I love my family but Dear Heavens am I ready for some new blood experiences.

Case in point. An email I just sent to my husband. Please excuse the potty mouth. I'm not without every single flaw possible after 4pm. God save the queen.

Sent from my iPad

On Mar 5, 2012, at 4:04 PM I wrote:

omg if I have to play another round of ninja Lego warriors I'm going to take a ninja start to the jugular.  Is it possible to die of boredom?  If so, be sure you remember to clip Grayson's fingernails when I'm gone.  Abby's too but Grayson's grow like lies on Pinnochio.

Honey.  My brain is effing pissed off...NEED MORE MENTAL STIMULATION or else I'm going to throw myself into the computer and never come out.


(Then I realized there was a typo so I followed up with this:)

* ninja star to the jugular..that was STAR TO THE JUGULAR in case you missed that desperate cry for help.  Bring me home a dictionary or something.  Maybe a Reader's Digest?



Confession:  Playing ninja Lego warrior overlords with Grayson was actually a good time.  For an hour.  Then it got to be pretty much an exercise in maternal abuse wherein every move I made was criticized, corrected, and ultimately rejected from the game altogether.  Basically a metaphor for parenting young people.

(I put this on FB and immediately deleted it because Grayson looks completely nudie Buddah here.  He's actually in his undies which is still not FB material so that's why the disappearing status update act.  But how stinkin' cute are these little ninjas?)


The Palmer Family said...

Did Grayson get his ninjas at the dentist? Luke has the same ones. And when I say dentist, I mean the cutest pediatric dentist in all of NoVA, aka Dr. "S".

Miss you, hope to catch up soon!


OSMA said...

K, nope he got them from a bday party. Very cool party favors I think. So cool I may have to make an appt. w/Doc McHottigan to get more. ;)