Game Night

I've never followed sports. This has only been inconvenient a few times in my life. One when I was in high school (unrequited love, don't ask) and the other was when I went to a college that lived, ate, and drank (and drank and drank) football. So the other night when the Cowboys were playing the Giants I climbed into bed with the husband to watch a little. Here's the conversation:

Me: "Did they score?

Him: "Who?"

Me: "The Cowboys? Who are they playing again?"

Him squinting to see the score on the flat screen...someone needs to wear his glasses: "Those are the Giants. Cowboys scored, I think."

Me: "I'm cold."

Him:

Me: "I wish I had their long underwear on right now. Mmmmmm, it looks very warm. Don't they get hot? God, you'd think they would completely roast in those longsleeves running around like that. Whoa! He dropped it, he totally dropped that ball, I need to see the replay. He completely dropped that ball in the endzone. There is no way he caught that ball, look at it all bobbling about like a football that's going down.

[After watching replay]

"Wow, I can't believe he caught that. That's incredible. These guys really know what they're doing. There is no reason that ball shouldn't have hit the ground. He's a freak of nature. Great job, Freak of Nature Football Man, bravo Honey!"

Him: (turns his head toward me while wearing zero expression)

Me: "Can you show me who Tony Romo is?"

Him: "Why?"

Me: "Because everyone says how hot he is. I want to see the hotness for myself."

Him: (makes some kind of disgusted male exhale)

Me: "Is that him?"

Him: "No."

Me: "Is that him?"

Him: "No."

Him 2 seconds later: "That's him, right there."

Me: "How do you know? They all look alike behind those face masks. Ahhh! That guy just took out a Cowboy cheerleader! Oh man, did you see that? That was great, I love football."

Him: "What's wrong with you?"

Me: "I had another coffee at the salon."

Him: "And there it is."