The kids and I chattered about nothing as we drove home from the pool today.
It was pretty benign stuff like why Grayson likes Daddy's scrambled eggs more than mine (his are cheesier) and how to chew with a loose tooth (let me pull the darn thing out already).
Then, the conversation drifted to something heavier. Or lighter. Depends on how you look at it.
Grayson said Sparrow reminds him of Tillie because she steals his toys without destroying them. She kind of mouths them for a while and drops them wherever and whenever she decides her mouth is tired.
I will find a lone and soaking wet Pokemon figurine in the middle of my bed with the tell tale signs that Sparrow has been there (A crescent moon of licked bedspread. Super gross but of course I find it adorable).
Then he got quiet.
This means he is thinking. He gets quiet a lot because he thinks a lot and typically keeps it to himself these days. He will end up talking if you give him room to put his thoughts out there. But you have to be patient.
That in mind, I distracted myself with sipping my drink, giving him space.
"I knew Tillie was going to die."
Yep, here ii comes.
"You mean after she got sick?" I ask misinterpreting his meaning like mothers do who underestimate their children.
More quiet. This time I could tell he was sizing me up, seeing if I could handle what he was about to lay on me.
Back to my straw.....slurp....slurp.
"No, I mean I knew she was going to die when she wasn't sick. When you, me, Abby, Daddy, Sadie, and Tillie were at the end of the driveway one day. I knew it then."
"Did you...hear something? See something? How did it just come to you?"
More quiet. With only intrusive ice left, I tossed aside my straw and began to sip like mad at my nonexistent drink.
"I saw God. His hair was tall like grass but long grass. He was wearing jeans and glasses. He was there. At the end of our driveway, next to Tillie. And then I knew Tillie was going to die. He put that in my mind."
Holy Effing Mother of Sh*t.
"Bud. Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I was gonna be all, OMG, you saw GOD? OMG, Tillie's gonna DIE, AHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?" (We know where Abby gets it.)
"Mommy, I didn't tell you because..........Because I knew if you knew so early you would cry and be sad."
"Oh Honey, that is so sweet."
"And when you cry, it sounds like Abby's. It's ANNOYing."
"Well, it started out sweet, anyway......Honey?"
"Will you tell me if God stops in again and maybe...brings up my name?"
"Mommy, you will TOTALLY freak out!"
"Yes, yes I will but I'd love a head's up."