Blue

I'm sorry to be remiss in blogging. It's just that I've been very tired. Like holding paddles that shout, 10!, standing ovation tired. I think I can feel my brain waves surging back and forth looking for the connectors that were there, oh about three years ago. I think it's the imminent move staring me from across a crowded room that has me all drowsy with denial. Suddenly, now that it's really almost time, I don't want to go. I was excited about moving closer to "home" but those feelings have recently given way to sadness about leaving our lives here. I'm sad that we have to move from this house that we walk, talk, sing, dance, stomp, zoom, tiptoe, arabesque, tromp loudly through everysingle day and night. I'm sad that we're departing from the only home Our Grayson and Dear Little Abby have ever known. I'm sad that Sadie won't have an Ana to go visit and go give kisses to. I'm sad that I'm leaving Marni; my Sistah From Another Mistah. My Marni who is the spiciest girlfriend I could ever wish for. She is also the most loving. She will curse out my husband when I can't (then pinch him on his tush as only she's allowed). She will come over to visit then tell me to go take a shower while she watches the kids. She is my One and Only who says out loud the things I think in my head. She is my own personal American Idol panel, my Dancing with the Stars companion, my So You Think You Can Dance diva. Moreso, she is my adult world: my time-out from Max & Ruby and Goldfish crackers, my reason to sneak out of the house and go have a beer and bad "karaoke." Nope, I can't even pretend I'm going to be okay without her right next door, just a few barefoot steps away. Ugh. And of course, her Vinny that spent too many hours their first year in the neighborhood helping a wayward me who constantly found herself up Shit's Creek without even a remote hope of a paddle. Scratched cornea? "Hi Vinny, I'm sort of blind right now. Can you maybe drive me to..." Vinny (who had already grabbed his keys the second he saw my puffy eyeball): "Let's go!" Weeks later Me Again: "Hi Vinny, could you help me put together this trampoline..." Vinny: "Where is Andy's Alan wrench?" Where will we be without Vinny's one-liners, his gravy, his stories, his home brew, his love of Radar & Eric? And the Redmonds. Larry's "Hi Master Grayson!" from across the street, his firework displays, his Oktoberfest. Marylin's white wine parties, her silliness, and her laugh. Brian's constant (and weirdly comforting) basketball dribbling, spider-smashing prowess and his smiling eyes. The Wendlers. Cara's sweet heart and fellow new momship. Andy's warmth and friendship too. Their beautiful sprite Josie who I want to put into a bubble and keep safe forever right along with Grayson. And the babies. Little Lil and Abs - the same age growing up together despite their worrysome mommies. Palmer Park, The WaWa, Black Dog, Liberty Thrift, Next to New Consignment, our garden, our pretty hydrangeas, our front porch swing, our Nammy & Pop an hour away, Aunt Jen & Uncle Pete only 30 minutes down the road. All of this and more has kept me from remembering any funny stories to share or faux pas to repeat here. Don't get me wrong. I'm wholly ecstatic to be closer to my family and dear friends from Maryland. I'm super psyched to be an hour's trip from all things in my former married with children world. And I'm sure I'll be back on the horse, once we're settled and are able to visit with family and friends close to Virginia. For now, however, I'm feeling a little down in the dumps that our move is here. There are no two ways about it: Andy, Grayson, Abby, Sadie and I are leaving our home, our loved ones, and the life we have made together here in these wonderful walls on Karlyn Lane. And for this, I'm feeling blue and a little unfunny.