We all know having children will impact our snuggle time with the spouse. I expected that. What I didn't expect was that my children would not only impact but impede my ability to make new friends easily at our new home (sure, blame it on the kids). I am finding it damn near impossible to carry on an adult conversation beyond, "Oh, how old is she? Four months? You look fabulous. Okay, bye!" because either new acquaintance had to tend to her baby or Abby was peeling off her swim diaper again in the shallow pool.
The thing I love most about being a stay-at-home mom is that I always have people to hang out with. The bad thing is that my people are under four, like to pour pee-pee water down my shirt, and refuse to wear a bathing suit top because her brother doesn't have to. Also, let's face it, my people are territorial. They do not share my attention so well. They love to have mine eyes on them and only them. For me to fraternize with another adult at the pool is an adulterous act and will be punished accordingly. Probably with an untimely meltdown or dramatic head butt to the hard concrete edge of the pool. Probably ending in me excusing myself from the only adult conversation I'll have that day to find where the hell I buried the band-aids (her) and Advil (me.).
Either way you look at it, kids are game changers and I must learn this new rulebook on how to make new friends and keep one or two so I'm not alone at Barnes & Noble perusing the 2 million piece 3-D puzzles of DC when my people have tired of me and graduated to painting easels and 2 million piece 3-D puzzles of their own.
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