Thursday, December 10, 2009

The UnPanic Room

So the other night we were having some "struggles" (understatement alert) with our night time routine. One of those evenings when something inside each child combusted simultaneously, causing each to burst at the seams with angst, tears, and an impressive amount of random movement and noise. It was loud. It was resistant. It was 7pm.

And because I'm such a giver, I "volunteered" to run their bath thus removing myself from the insanity while also probably saving our marriage (Mommy has a hard time using nice words after depleted from the day). Sometimes you have to be proactive (run like hell and close doors behind you) in important relationships. In other words, you have to know when to fold 'em.

As I ran their bath, I closed my eyes and drifted off into an Ally McBeal Fantasy. There I was at Chez Every Child Left Behind Spa and my (hot but not straight- I am tragically faithful) masseuse was moments away from knocking on the door with almond scented oils and hot towel in hand. I could smell his aftershave, the almond oil, and expensive linen. I could feel the warm towel on my back. I could hear Enya. It was glorious and sublime. It was moments from coming to an end so I did the only thing any sane person would do.

I climbed into the tub.

Imagine Abby and Grayson's surprise when they found a (completely covered in bubbles) mommy in their bubble bath.

Something tells me Grayson will be taking showers from this day forward.


pajama mom said...

"hot but not straight.. masseuse" i'm pretty sure i dated him in college. :)

Jessica said...

Hahahahaha I "volunteer" for bath time sometimes, too. It's easier on some days than dealing with a pissy husband who believes he's too exhausted to do it himself haha

I also have a hard time using my nice words after a long day.

Man... isn't there a manual or something for this shit?? hahaha

PS: my word verification word is "undurink." I think it's a message to drink more ;)

One Sided Momma said...

pjm- you too? :)

jessica- if there's a manual, i would quite literally sell my soul for it. let me know. and yes, undurink is latin for "underdrink" which obviously means you underdrink and should right now partake in a beverage that is pink, gold, or merlot. i'll meet you in the wine cellar. :)