Humble Pie

As this (%@#!) deployment winds down, I feel compelled to embarrass the people who went above and beyond in wrapping their arms around us while we marched along quietly and bewildered. You helped us find our footing and remain upright while our little boat threatened to capsize once or twice.

• My in-laws/Ninjas/Nam & Pop - Nobody else showed up more than you two. In every sense of the word, you are parents and it's no secret that I may have put Grayson up to "asking for a visit" more than I will admit. Honestly and forever grateful to you both for all you've done for the three of us. You'd never know were were five hours away. You guys never let on. I love you like we all grew up in the same house together. I guess, in a way, we kind of did.

• My mom/Nonie - Nobody else would've answered the phone every single time I called. Especially when that meant four or five times a day for maybe 1 minute and 45 seconds. You always made time to talk to me and to the kids. That helped us along more than you'll ever know. Plus, no matter what, I always knew you understood what it was like to be single mom. You lived that life with us when we were little. You were right, it really does suck. I love you for being there for me, just me, when I was feeling crazy or incapable. You let me know I was capable and strong and that this experience will be just a blip in time. (Some freakin' blip, Mom.) Thank you, Anonymouse! xoxoxo

• My military wife friend, Joanne. We just met six months ago and she has been THE person who helped me realize it's okay to feel sad, crazy, and lonely. Just don't become those things. I adore her and couldn't have made it without her camaraderie, gentle presence, encouraging pep talks and awesome green smoothies.

• My neighbor and friend, Jen. She has checked in, checked on, and come to bat for us when I couldn't get out of bed and to the store for Extra Strength whatever. I'm pretty sure I still owe her 20 dollars for groceries. Plus, she even added some extra fun stuff for the kids and a sweet Get Well Soon card signed by her and her children. I don't ever want her to move back to England unless I can be sure we can all visit at least once a year.
  

• My brother, Donnie. He has made me laugh more than I should've the past few months and I am one gas tank short of driving to NY to pick him up, pack up his belongings, and move him in with us here. Not because we need the help. Just so I can hang out with him all time. I love you, DJ. You really know how to hook a sista up with sunshine. You're the greatest.

• My fellow bloggity friends: PJ, FamGoss, CRK, JRitz, Jess, Wenzy. There is something oddly comforting about knowing you guys are out there, visiting this site, cheering me on. Seriously, I feel connected to you all and appreciate every one of you for taking the time to leave kind comments, funny as hell comments, or just "hang in there and have another glass of wine" comments. You guys rock. Thanks so much for the support. It matters and really has made a difference.

• Sonja, Elissa, Julie, Danielle, Kim and Day. You six ladies are amazing and have showed your support, encouragement, and love in various ways. The letters you wrote, the sentiments you gave, and the time you spent thinking of us here chugging along helped immensley. Thank you for making time to put your thoughts into words and mostly, thank you so much for reaching out when you did.

• Monica - There isn't one other person I can think of who would drive all this way to drop off a casserole or two of something super yummy the way you did....twice! Your friendship is honest, real, and dependable which has served as a huge comfort during so much time of change, unknowns, and being ill-at-ease. Thank you for making the time to show how much you care. You are a diamond in a pretty rough and tumble sea.

• Kataleena, Lisy-Lis & Marni-hey. You are my girls. You all carved time out of very busy schedules to come here and whisk me out of my funk. I love having you sweet chickees in my life. It's a pleasure b.s.'ing with you and forgetting what time it is. May we all have more time to spend chatting and tearing through old photo albums together. Thank you for your rock solid friendship. I can count on any of you and believe me, I do.

• My neighbor, Sandy, for spoiling the kids with candy and presents every holiday. She also drove with me to CVS to stay in the van with the kids while I went in for "Abby's medicine" and came out with three huge bags of Easter Basket stuff. She will always be the Easter Bunny for me.

There you have it. The complete, unadulterated list of folks who went above and beyond to be here (even if "here" meant the telephone or email in most cases), show up and make themselves useful so much so, I simply cannot repay them. I can only let them know how big a difference it has made in our lives and hopefully I can pay all their kindness forward in ways I know will help other families in similar situations.

The best piece of advice I can impart to anyone going through a deployment is this: Pay attention to the people who pay attention to you. That is your support system. You will need them. Shower them with the love they deserve and don't waste time worrying about the others who may not have the empathy to understand.