The Upside of Down

Instead of whining about deployments all the time, I thought I'd bring to light the positive side to them. Let me give it a whirl...

1. Dinner? Hahahahahahahahhahahahahaha.
2. 6:30 p.m. means nothing anymore to you or the dog.
3. Nobody gives you sh*t about all the plastic McDonald's smoothie cups in your recycling bin
4. You can go months without replacing toilet paper or paper products in general.
5. You can stock every bathroom with foamy soap that smells like cherry lip gloss and/or vanilla sugar cookies.
6. There are no more unflattering double chin photos of you when you think you looked cute that day.
7. Your half empty bottle of Ginger Ale is still there on your bedside table waiting for you three days later if you darn well please.
   
8. The children are very in tune with your "hormonal shifting"
   
9. So is the dog
10. Nobody comes home late, leaves early, or needs 30 minutes alone in the downstairs bathroom.
11. You don't have to wear a bra pretty much ever.
    
12. Receipts? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
13. When you hit "last" on the remote it always goes back to Watch What Happens and never Ice Truckers
14. Nobody really expects you to host a party, a playdate, or join a Book Club
15. Hell, nobody really expects you to answer the phone.
16. You will never have that mommy guilt about not spending enough time with your children when they were small. You wore your freaking children for several months when they became extra clingy, missed Daddy and showed it through more physical contact than your tired person could possibly wear.
    
17. People are compassionate and tell you how they completely understand what it's like to have a husband deployed because theirs has been on travel for two weeks in a row.
18. People are compassionate and tell you they would leave their husband if he ever had to be gone for more than two weeks in a row.
19. People humble you and write heartfelt letters and emails about how they appreciate your family's sacrifice so theirs is safe at night.
20. You constantly think about those who are making a larger sacrifice than yourself and feel guilty accepting any accolades for such a short deployment period, regardless of logic.
    
21. The pediatrician makes you suddenly burst into tears when she says, "Thank you," after finding out your husband has been in the Middle East for five months.
22. People you least suspect or even hardly know will become your strongest network of support because they have walked in your shoes and remember how much those shoes did sting and gave them blisters or just because they know you're not as "great!" as you say you are.
    
23. You can add or subtract eight hours with perfect accuracy to any time of the day or night for the rest of your life.
24. You will move on from the deployment once it's over but you'll always remember to help someone else through their own journey of misery when theirs begins.