Two nights ago I had the greatest dream about a sweet little brown owl. Or I thought it was the greatest dream until I googled it. Here's a morsel of what I found: "The owl represents wisdom and higher education. Because of the owl's keen eyesight it considered to be a great visionary. It also has superb hearing. As a totem it can reveal clairaudient and clairvoyant abilities. This nocturnal bird is called "The Keeper of Dark Secrets." The owl totem has a connection to the dark side and the dead. The owl is associated with superstition and magical powers. Whenever an owl appears or you hear an owl screech in the night it may be that a secret will soon be revealed to you. Also, if a secret is shared with you in confidence, the owl serves as a reminder to honor that knowledge and keep the secret private." Never google it. Even if "it" is a weird red rash all over your child's face. Even if "it" is the awful limp your dog acquired after jumping off the bed. Google will give you gloom, treachery and doom every time. This time was no different.
I dreamed of being back in my childhood home, opening the very familiar cupboard and seeing a small brown and gray owl peeking back at me. Nothing else but the owl. I was startled but not afraid. It blinked demurely and "spoke" something through its eyes. It then flew around my childhood home in search of a window or a door. It needed to get out but it didn't panic. It waited for me to open the front door before it stretched its impressive wings into the pitch black night.
I laughed in the company of two other women (I remember who but will not say here for some superstitious reason) even though I didn't think it was the least bit funny. Even in my dream I understood the gravity of having an owl simply show up in the cupboard of my childhood home. Even in my dream I knew it was anything but coincidence.
Then, when I woke up I felt relieved. Oddly relieved of decisions I still haven't made. Strangely relaxed from crossroads not yet passed through. It was as if the presence of that tiny brown owl gave me the message I needed to hear even though I can't remember, for the life of me, what the hell he said.