Humming

You know that extra sixth sense we all have that isn't quite sight, smell, touch, hear, or taste? It's more like a feel or sensing or...how do I put this...an overall hum?  Well, mine is always in high gear.  I can't turn it off.   I try to turn it off with wine, practicing guitar, trying out a new recipe but it's forever there, like a bass line in my bones.  Is yours like that too?


Last night, I cooked dinner early and got the kids ready for bed before I got the call my husband would be late because the hum told me to do all of that already.

I wanted to take Abby out for lunch yesterday but before we stepped foot in our favorite place, the hum let me know it was bursting with people's energy and too crowded for a girl and her mom.  It was, she screamed at me to leave as soon as we entered the din.

When I need beef broth and noodles for a recipe but I quickly change lanes last minute for a store I don't usually go in because, well, the humming guides me there.  Turns out the organic beef is on sale and it's perched conveniently on a kiosk next to the three other ingredients I would've forgotten at the other store. My body knew it was there so we went.

This sort of thing happens so often that I barely ever run into crowds, get into traffic jams, or am stuck somewhere I don't want to be.  It's not to say bad things don't happen, I just dropped a very large jar of strawberry jam on both of my feet (both of my feet?!), but the hum steers me away from negative energy if I listen.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I override the hum, I live to regret it.  I wind up spending time with someone I don't care to spend time with.  Or stuck at an event that doesn't resonate well.  Or worse, spending money at Michael's on a wreathing craft I will never put together.

And the hum can premeditate, too.  For example, if a friend makes an invitation for an event two weeks away, my body hums and I already feel whether that day someone will be sick, late from work, or otherwise just not a good time to go.  Can you imagine that response?  I'm sorry, Michelle, one of my kids is going to have a raging fever and my dog will puke that night.  Or something like that.  There would never be another invitation to anywhere ever again so I temper my response to fit the situation.  If my body is quiet and I don't hum at all, usually the coast is clear and I can make the event.  Some might call this a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.  I read the book too and yet,  I still call it life.  It's been this way ever since I was a little girl.  This freaky thing has seen me through lots of could've-been-treacherous episodes and one definite near-death experience.  Forty years later?  I trust that sh*t, no question.  I listen to my body's hum automatically and it never does me wrong.

The humming happens when I meet new people, too.  It is such a good judge of character that I trust it implicitly.  I've tested it, which is to say not trusted it, and have always been disappointed, yet impressed when I get lemons.  The sixth sense allows nobody with ill intentions through.  It's like a gargoyle that way and I love it.  I'm sure it's not full-proof, and there are times I still give far too much time to someone I feel I shouldn't, but I'm working on that.  I think it's human nature to feel we can be everything to everyone.  My hum lets me know I can't so I won't.

The humming comes in handy when I'm with animals, too.  Obviously I prefer dogs but it happens no matter what species.  It just so happens, dogs vibe a lot and when I'm with them, it's easy to get caught up in their sensory lane.  It's not long before you see every movement, lip lick, side-eye, and back-leg prance that leads to a scuffle.  There is so much vibing going on at the Dog Adoption Center that I'm on sensory overload the entire time, but in a comfortable way.  It's a language I understand.  It's a language I trust.

Throngs of people are so much more confusing.  Exhausting, really.  Our natural masks, social deflections, and pride defenses make it impossible to vibe without a mask, too.  This is definitely why friends can be aplenty but soul sisters are few.  For me, a friendship bond is the same as humming well together.  When I meet someone I like, it takes me a while to discern whether the chemistry will work or it won't, because we're both wearing masks.  In the end, it's chemistry, either gelling or not.  Dogs?  No mask, all personality traits are out there.  Sometimes there is posturing or submission but those aren't false advertisements, those are rules.  Refreshing.

The only possible glitch I can see about this sixth sense being "on" all the time is that I am usually safe.  Safe is good but it is not always challenging.  I never find myself in an uncomfortable collection of people.  I've spent too many years doing that and while yes very challenging OMG was I extremely challenged,  it brought me to neuroses, not happiness.

So while I'm slightly wanting to be outside my comfort zone at times, I won't push past the brink of insanity for myself anymore.  Humming has become so second-nature that it would take some serious mental wrestling to drive through an ice storm, attend a Mardi Gras parade downtown, or book a flight to Vegas just because.  I think by this time, my body doesn't want to waste one ounce of energy in a place it doesn't belong.  I chose to put it through hat A LOT for several eras so we're solid there.   It has spent a long time thinking about these things.  Which leaves me all the time in the world to reap what it has sewn.