Good Taste

So you know how you tend to treat the people closest to you the worst?

Yeah.  That.

It's happening to me.  Only I'm on the receiving end this time.

Two examples.  If you're a parent, be prepared to wince.


Example One:
A few days ago and completely out of the blue, Grayson asked who was going to die first:  me or Daddy.

I told him that's not something he needs to worry about as a little boy.  Then I told him we don't get to know those kinds of things.  I know, I should've just said neither of us is ever going anywhere ever so please crawl back in your innocent little person happy meadow where bluebirds speak, Superman rewinds the hands of time, and only bad people get hurt.

But no, my kids got a realist for a mom who feels compelled to cushion the blow but still delivers the punch.

After listening to my remarks, Grayson then adds, "Well, I hope it's not Daddy."

Ha.  Serves the realist right.  Right back at me, Sunshine.

Example Number Dos:
Abby cupped her sweet little hands around my face last night and touched her nose to mine.  While I melted in the warmth of the precious sentiment, she says...and I quote, "Mommy?  I love you but I love Miss Tanya more than you.  She is the best mommy."

"Is that so?"  I ask.

"Yes, it is," she said without flinching.

"Why do you love Miss Tanya more than me?"

"Because she is gooder and I just love her so much I could live at her house but I would like to bring my brudda and my daddy."

"I see.  Hm.  Maybe I could keep Sadie then?"

"No, she loves Daddy more than you."

Wow, this just doesn't get any better for mom, does it?

So, in the end I've learned one thing. 

I have very good taste in husbands and friends.

That and I can probably go back to work any time now.  My damage is done here.

E=mc2

During a routine diaper change G was giving a play-by-play of his thoughts. Somewhere in between "...and that guy in the blue shirt had two swords...I don't know where my apple go...and the ball went waaaay up into the sky..." he stopped short. He looked me square in the eye and asked, "Mommy, how does the sun come up? Does it pop?"

Holy crap. How does one even BEGIN?! I did not realize I was going to be faced with such questions this early on in the game. Somehow I thought I had a few more years before having to be on my toes to answer complex inquiries. So I attempted an answer:

Me: "Okay, are you ready? It's complicated but I think you can get it so I'm going to tell you."
Him: "Yes. "
Me: "So we live here. (I make a fist and point to a freckle on my knuckle). It's a planet called earth.
Him: "Ersh."
Me: "Good. Yes. Sort of. So we live on planet earth."
Him: "P-anet Ersh."
Me: "Yes. Planet Earth. Okay so now, give me your hand. Your hand is the sun. (He smiles because he knows his hand is his hand and very much NOT the sun. Mommy's silly.) I move his hand around my fist in slow motion.) When your hand, the sun, is next to the us, the freckle, it is day time. We play. We skip. We shout- Hooray! Then your hand, the sun, moves away a little bit and we can't see it anymore. You follow? Then it's dark. It is getting to be night-night time. See? Day (We move his hand close to freckle). Night. (his hand away from freckle.) Day. Night.
Him: "Mommy?"
Me: (All proud of myself for successfully embarking on physics with my son through our Hands and Freckles analogy.) Yes, honey?

Him: "I want Daddy."

And there you have it. My first real deal teachable moment and I blew it. G thought about what I was telling him and wanted to get as far away from this wakadoodle mommy who thought his hand was the sun and her freckle was the Ersh.

G's thought bubble: "Okay, so I may not have combined sounds down yet and "th" doesn't come easily for my tiny mouth and crowded teeth but this whole business about my sun going around her earth? Well, that's just plain erroneous. She obviously was not a biology major in college. The earth clearly and unmistakibly orbits around the sun and not the other way around. Poor Mom. She's choking already and I haven't even asked her the super tough questions like can I wear pink or what's really in her sippy cup. I'm going to go find my apple now. I remember where I put it. I just hope Mom didn't move it from inside the big speaker hole in the living room.