Be Not Small

 

 

As 2014 points its fireworks at us, I can't help but shield myself from any New Year's Resolutions.  How about you?  I just don't like them because I will never remember that I've made them.  I can barely remember I have tea steeping to the point of asphalt most of the time. 

In lieu of New Year's Resolutions, I made a list of self truths to pass on to my kids in case I perish in a freak kennel accident.  How's that for fresh-faced optimism?

Dear My Kids:

• Know your worth.  You mean more than any self-doubt, craving, ego, depression, or apathy.  You're no accident, sweetheart.  Many things conspired to see you got here safely.  Honor your life by appreciating your worth.
• Be not small.  Feel pride, not shame, of your skills, desires, and passions.  Move forward with them enthusiastically.  You may be humble but not small.  Only you can give the world your piece of its puzzle.  Walk tall knowing you have nothing to quiet along the way.  Your friends will support you and your doubters will be your guidepost that you've almost arrived. 

 

• Believe in the power of restorative sleep.
• Trust your instinct, I believe it's God talking.
• Look for miracles.  They are playful and divine.

• Study the things you don't understand.

• Try hard not to get hooked on caffeine, it does weird things to your body that will cause undue concern.  Chocolate's ok in moderation.  Peppermint patties are medicinal.
• Fight fairly, not passive aggressively, and clear the air quickly.  You are not a doormat for explosions, nor are you an explosion for a doormat.   
• Listen, really listen, to your friends.  This will mean the world to you both for years to come.

 

 

• Hike whenever you can with friends or family.  Bring your dog. 
• Nap in the sun

 

 

 

 

• Screw around often throughout the day, no matter what your dad says.  He's a Marine, they revolt against silly but need it even more than you.  It's those moments that will mold you, not your well-made bed.  But don't make the man crazy, please still make your bed.   
• Be kind and patient with your parents as they age.  They still love you more than they love themselves.  Way more. 

 

 

• You both already have a lot of friends and that's good.  Remember to say no to more things than you say yes to. 
• Know you do not need to give a reason as to why you can't make an event.  Even if the reason is that you'd rather stay in your pjs all day and watch Rodeo Girls.  It was an invitation, not a test of friendship.
• Skip empty carbs when you grow up.  Believe me when I say it bogs down your brain. 
• Feed your body the things earth gives you, not science.
• Try healing yourselves with the things earth gives you first, then science.  However, Grayson you will probably still need to travel with ibuprofen for your migraines and Abby when she's about...oh...twelve on up.



Sensory Bliss - Know how to heal yourself when the world overwhelms you.
 

Hormones are no joke in this family.





• Drink more water than you think is necessary. Throw lemon in there when you feel a cold coming on.
• Risk and opportunity are vastly different.  Learn the difference early on.
• Treasure homemade gifts.  Someone was thinking of you from start to finish.

 

 

 

• Never take anyone's affection for granted.  Even if it's coming from unexpected places.  Yes, even that funny boy sending you personalized comic strips during Philosophy to keep you awake.  Especially him.
• Try not to confuse attention with affection.  People show their affection in many ways other than the one way you want it.
• Help your fellowman and fellow animals.  We have no reason to feel more important than other creatures that feel.  If you do feel more important, that's your ego talking, not your heart.

 

 

• When you're not sure about something, make a quick decision.  If it feels wrong right away, you have your answer.
• Floss.  Please honor thy mother and floss.
• Recycle, repurpose, and restore whenever possible. 
• Be the first to help anything or anyone suffering.  Both of your souls need it.
• Practice teamwork.

• Charge up, not with time at work but time with your family, friends, and hobbies.  Work doesn't miss you when you're gone.  Projects and deadlines aren't going to your funeral some day.
• Vacation without guilt. 
• Sing loudly, dance wildly, play as often as possible.  Invite others to do the same with just your energy.
• Please hold on to each other. 

 

• Try your hardest not to mistake firmness with harshness.  Your mother is still working on this.
• Snuggle

 

• Hang with your parents, no matter how weird they get.

• Publish your stories, frame your pictures, record your concerts, hang your artwork.  Surround yourself with inspiration and celebrate your life and the lives of those you adore. 
• Own your quirk.

 

• Throw impromptu campfires, dinner parties and fancy social gatherings and only clean the kitchen and bathroom.  

 

 

• Try not to save your passions for "later."  They are cumulative, not exhaustive.  Go ahead and delve into them daily, they only get better!
• Always open your mind and your heart when talking with children.  They have so very much to teach you. 

 

 

Bird Feeders

What began as a keep-the-kids-from-self-destruction-while-I-cook-dinner activity turned out to be pretty cool.


The kids chose materials thoughtfully and according to what they felt the birds would like.

Grayson's birds must be of northern descent (notice the snowflakes) and have allergies (yep, that's a tissue.)

 

Abby's are more a southern breed with an appreciation for Easter pastel and googly eyes.

Both are creations almost ready to occupy our backyard as soon as I brave up and cut feeder holes into the plastic.

Or maybe I can jam some Christmas lights in there and call it shabby chic.
We're down with the shabby,

still working on the chic.

Together

Abby is balancing on the rock wall in our backyard, tipping herself this way, then that. She is completely unaware that her blonde locks are flowing like golden tendrils in the sky.

She has no idea she's beautiful.

Grayson, a dirty stick in each hand, is only paces ahead of her. He keeps looking back to make sure she hasn't slipped yet.

He has no idea he's the reason she feels so safe in a world that could swallow her whole but won't when he is by her side.

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On our way to school there is a mom, a teenage boy and a teenage girl, I imagine her son and her daughter, in the car next to ours. They are not talking. They are not smiling. They've reached the point in their relationships when all things are separate. Separate minds, separate private bodies, separate and probably polar opposite ideas about what is important, I imagine.

Is there any way around it?

I close my eyes to listen to my children in the backseat. Abby chatters sweetly and Grayson chooses the last three words of hers to repeat again and again.

"Stop it!" she demands.
"Stop it!" he mimics.

"Grayson Noooooooooooooooo!" Her eyes burn hot with tears.
Grayson Noooooooooooooooo!" he tries out in a voice meant to sound like hers.

I remain neutral and mute. Their symbiotic fussiness comforts me and allows me the chance to drive right past the car with all the flatness, the separate people, the people who prefer silence.

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"Wait in here with me until the tornado stops, Abby." Grayson rushes her in the sunroom and heaves the sliding glass door closed. "It will pass soon, the trees were bending super low, Mommy."

"I am still alive, Mommy. I have berries in my basket to get the torn-in-nado!" Abby beams.

Grayson eyes the trees leaning over and decides it's safer inside. He locks the sunroom door for good.

We are all together feeding off each others moods, interfacing expressions, and imaginative play.

The day impacts us all the same way and I know this can't last forever.

I will just pretend it does.

These Are the Days

Private "conversation", raspberries and spit bubbles, baby opera, hugs and canoodling that have nothing to do with me except that I caught it all happening.

Wonder if they know the companion they will have for a lifetime to come.